It turns out that I can waste just as much time on the computer with other mindless activities as I can with Facebook. If you are like me, then I suggest that you do NOT check out the new cube game over at www.deadwhale.com . I repeat, do NOT check that out unless you want to mindlessly click your mouse for an hour straight while half-watching tv.
My husband actually peeked at my screen to see if I had broken my vow and returned to Facebook. No, honey - just another pointless timesuck. Ugh.
This realization has me considering a total electronic media fast at some point in the future. Not now. Maybe in the Spring, when there is so much to do outside and it stays daylight a little longer. Then, I think that I could pull it off. I'd have to tell my children that our tv and Daddy's ipad were broken.
The playdate on Tuesday turned out to be just what we needed to get out of our funk. And, instead of jumping on Facebook the second that I put my son down for his quiet time*, I read a book and took a short nap. (*"Quiet time" is a term used to describe the phenomenon where I try to get my 2-year-old to nap, but he prefers to jump on his bed, get out every single stuffed animal that he owns, and sometimes vandalize his own bedroom until I relent and let him come out to play. Mommy is not ready to give up naps.)
We did snuggle on the couch and watch tv for an hour Wednesday morning, but then got dressed and went to storytime at the library. Afterward, we met some friends for lunch at Burger King, where the kids played for nearly 2 hours. We went straight from there to get DS's hair cut, then stopped by the grocery store for a few things. We had just enough time to get home and read DS's 4 new library books before I had to start work.
DS can be a really difficult kid sometimes. He has a lot of mood swings, which I know is normal for a kid his age, but he is much more stubborn and emotionally volatile than his big sister was at this age. As much as we love him, and as wonderfully sweet as he can be during the good times, being with him can be sort of ... draining. Yesterday was awesome. Not perfect, but sooooo much better than usual. He was (relatively) cooperative and sweet and just a joy to hang out with. Maybe it was a fluke, but I am telling myself that his improved behavior is a result of improved attention from his mommy.
Really, it was such a nice day that I hated to go to work last night. I started feeling guilty about how little I see DD when I work evenings. I have too many projects due and too little time, and the anxiety started to creep in. Am I doing the right thing here? Do we really need the "extra" money? Am I wasting time that could be better invested in my kids?
Sigh.
I don't know.It will be better in the Fall. DS will be in 3 day/week preschool, so I can get more work hours in during the day and be fully present and available in the evenings for both kids. I'll still have 2 days/week to be a SAHM, go to playdates and story times and push him on the swing at the park. I won't have work lingering in the back of my mind so much while I am supposed to be (and want to be) focused on the kids. I think that our whole family will benefit from a more clearly-defined work/school/play schedule. Now, just 6 more months of trying to fit in 20 hours of work with 10 hours of MDO. Just 6 more months.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Day Six
I waaaaaaaant iiiiiiiit. I want Facebook.
It is barely 8:00 am, the kids woke up at 5:45, my two-year-old has asked 8 MILLION questions, and I just want to snuggle up on the couch and mentally check out for a while.
I just put on Toy Story 3 and will finish this posting, then check my email. I don't know if there's much of a distinction between doing that and being on Facebook. At least email has a finite aspect to it...?
We'll get dressed in 30 minutes and go to a playdate to see other people in person. I will not lose my mind today. Breathe.
It is barely 8:00 am, the kids woke up at 5:45, my two-year-old has asked 8 MILLION questions, and I just want to snuggle up on the couch and mentally check out for a while.
I just put on Toy Story 3 and will finish this posting, then check my email. I don't know if there's much of a distinction between doing that and being on Facebook. At least email has a finite aspect to it...?
We'll get dressed in 30 minutes and go to a playdate to see other people in person. I will not lose my mind today. Breathe.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Day Five
I kind of miss it.
I am working today, and I am so used to punctuating my work days with "Facebook breaks". Without those, well ... I'm just working! Like, all day. Hrmm.
I work from home 95% of the time, so I don't get a lot of interaction with coworkers. There's no water cooler gossip. Facebook is my water cooler!
On the upside, I was not trying to catch up on status updates while getting the kids ready for school this morning, so our whole family actually made it out the door on time -- even, dare I say it --EARLY. We do not have a reputation as early birds. I've always blamed it on my slowpoke kids, but maybe I should have been pointing the finger at myself.
Also, I went to bed before midnight last night. I am a night owl by nature, and mornings are ROUGH when you're operating on fewer than six hours of sleep (most likely not uninterrupted sleep, either, since I am still waiting for my 5-year-old and almost 3-year-old to sleep through the night on a regular basis -- but that is a whole rant in itself). But today, I feel ... almost ... refreshed? Is that what this is? It's so foreign to me. Could be the coffee, too. Since we were not in such a rush this morning, I had time to actually make some. And drink it. While it was still warm. Is this how the rest of you live?
Fine, fine - back to work now. Although, I may have to institute laundry breaks. A girl can only stare at spreadsheets for so long before going cross-eyed.
ETA: Google says that I don't have enough content on my blog for them to pay any attention to it. So here is a random picture of the Facebook logo for your viewing pleasure. You're welcome.
I am working today, and I am so used to punctuating my work days with "Facebook breaks". Without those, well ... I'm just working! Like, all day. Hrmm.
I work from home 95% of the time, so I don't get a lot of interaction with coworkers. There's no water cooler gossip. Facebook is my water cooler!
On the upside, I was not trying to catch up on status updates while getting the kids ready for school this morning, so our whole family actually made it out the door on time -- even, dare I say it --EARLY. We do not have a reputation as early birds. I've always blamed it on my slowpoke kids, but maybe I should have been pointing the finger at myself.
Also, I went to bed before midnight last night. I am a night owl by nature, and mornings are ROUGH when you're operating on fewer than six hours of sleep (most likely not uninterrupted sleep, either, since I am still waiting for my 5-year-old and almost 3-year-old to sleep through the night on a regular basis -- but that is a whole rant in itself). But today, I feel ... almost ... refreshed? Is that what this is? It's so foreign to me. Could be the coffee, too. Since we were not in such a rush this morning, I had time to actually make some. And drink it. While it was still warm. Is this how the rest of you live?
Fine, fine - back to work now. Although, I may have to institute laundry breaks. A girl can only stare at spreadsheets for so long before going cross-eyed.
ETA: Google says that I don't have enough content on my blog for them to pay any attention to it. So here is a random picture of the Facebook logo for your viewing pleasure. You're welcome.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Days Three and Four
I forgot to blog yesterday. I think that's a good sign, really. I thought it would be so difficult for me to stay away from Facebook, but it's really not bad. Except for the times that my fingers go on auto-pilot and pull up the Facebook page without even asking my brain if it's okay. (Yes, it happened again today!) That's just kind of embarrassing.
I did do some Craigslist browsing the other night, and scored a $25 bookcase for our living room. We finally got our garage cleaned out 2 weeks ago, so I know that my husband is thrilled to have another one of my projects taking up space out there! I think I am just going to paint it a slightly off-white and call it a day so that it does not sit out there for too long.
So, Saturday morning was spent herding the family into the van and driving into the middle of nowhere to pick up said treasure. I am pretty sure that we heard dueling banjos at one point. The middle of NOWHERE. We arrived at our destination, only to learn that there was no one there capable of helping us load this monstrous, solid wood piece into our van. My poor husband did it all by himself, pushing that thing through the mud on a dolly. I love that man. I like to think that he appreciates my thrifty means of furnishing our home, but it's more likely that he's just accepted my quirks as part of the marriage deal. (Kind of like how I look the other way when it comes to that old Jeep that he's been restoring for the past year and a half.)
After our morning adventure, DH hung out at home (doting on the aforementioned Jeep) while I took the kids to their friend's birthday party. One of the nice things about having young kids is that we are still in the stage where they are mostly just friends with the kids of my friends ... or did it happen the other way around? Anyway, I got to sit and chat with my own friends while the hooligans ran wild. They teased me a bit about my Facebook fast -- making up fake "news" that I missed by being away from the site. I do wonder if the whole idea of taking a break of a predetermined duration seems too ... self-righteous? I think it's one of those things where people might feel that I am being critical of them for their time spent on Facebook, when I'm really not trying to do that at all. It's not like I think I am going to save the world by stepping back from Facebook. I just recognize that I, personally, have a bit of an addiction to it. I just needed to quit, cold turkey, just so I know that I can do it. It doesn't mean that I think that social networking is bad. (Um, yeah, blogging?)It's my all-consuming worship of it that is the problem. If other people are able to check-in with their Facebook friends for 15 minutes and then return to more important things, then yay for them! I'm not there yet.
I emailed a friend on Friday. Big deal, right? Except that I hardly ever email friends anymore. Almost everyone I know checks her Facebook messages more frequently than her "real" email account. Logging into Gmail and composing a message felt like sending a telegram. Weird.
So, weekend wrap-up:
-one bookcase buying expedition
-one little kid friend birthday party
-one BIL family birthday party
-3 hours of reading, for fun
-3 hours of paid work
-one church service
-one lunch at MIL's
-one completely trashed house
Wait, what? I have all of this new-found free time, yet my house is still a mess. Hrmm. Whoops!
Oh! Oh! But I cooked dinner. Again, embarrassing, but it had been a while since I did more than slice some fruit and boil some macaroni. Yeah, embarrassing. I know. In comparison, this weekend's simple chicken pot pie was something of a culinary triumph!
I'm a work in progress, people.
I did do some Craigslist browsing the other night, and scored a $25 bookcase for our living room. We finally got our garage cleaned out 2 weeks ago, so I know that my husband is thrilled to have another one of my projects taking up space out there! I think I am just going to paint it a slightly off-white and call it a day so that it does not sit out there for too long.
So, Saturday morning was spent herding the family into the van and driving into the middle of nowhere to pick up said treasure. I am pretty sure that we heard dueling banjos at one point. The middle of NOWHERE. We arrived at our destination, only to learn that there was no one there capable of helping us load this monstrous, solid wood piece into our van. My poor husband did it all by himself, pushing that thing through the mud on a dolly. I love that man. I like to think that he appreciates my thrifty means of furnishing our home, but it's more likely that he's just accepted my quirks as part of the marriage deal. (Kind of like how I look the other way when it comes to that old Jeep that he's been restoring for the past year and a half.)
After our morning adventure, DH hung out at home (doting on the aforementioned Jeep) while I took the kids to their friend's birthday party. One of the nice things about having young kids is that we are still in the stage where they are mostly just friends with the kids of my friends ... or did it happen the other way around? Anyway, I got to sit and chat with my own friends while the hooligans ran wild. They teased me a bit about my Facebook fast -- making up fake "news" that I missed by being away from the site. I do wonder if the whole idea of taking a break of a predetermined duration seems too ... self-righteous? I think it's one of those things where people might feel that I am being critical of them for their time spent on Facebook, when I'm really not trying to do that at all. It's not like I think I am going to save the world by stepping back from Facebook. I just recognize that I, personally, have a bit of an addiction to it. I just needed to quit, cold turkey, just so I know that I can do it. It doesn't mean that I think that social networking is bad. (Um, yeah, blogging?)It's my all-consuming worship of it that is the problem. If other people are able to check-in with their Facebook friends for 15 minutes and then return to more important things, then yay for them! I'm not there yet.
I emailed a friend on Friday. Big deal, right? Except that I hardly ever email friends anymore. Almost everyone I know checks her Facebook messages more frequently than her "real" email account. Logging into Gmail and composing a message felt like sending a telegram. Weird.
So, weekend wrap-up:
-one bookcase buying expedition
-one little kid friend birthday party
-one BIL family birthday party
-3 hours of reading, for fun
-3 hours of paid work
-one church service
-one lunch at MIL's
-one completely trashed house
Wait, what? I have all of this new-found free time, yet my house is still a mess. Hrmm. Whoops!
Oh! Oh! But I cooked dinner. Again, embarrassing, but it had been a while since I did more than slice some fruit and boil some macaroni. Yeah, embarrassing. I know. In comparison, this weekend's simple chicken pot pie was something of a culinary triumph!
I'm a work in progress, people.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Day Two
Welcome to Day Two of my "Month Without Facebook" experiment. So far, so good.
Yesterday, I:
-did 6 hours of paid work
-took care of my sick kindergartner (who was not really sick anymore, but had to follow the 24 hour rule)
-watched the crew pour, score, and stamp our new patio
-sat outside and watched the concrete mixer truck and the garbage truck with DD
-started this blog
-played trains with my 2-year-old and REALLY played instead of watching from behind my computer
-put down the computer and read a story to him
-washed dishes, made the bed, cleaned the litter box, did 2 loads of laundry, dusted, cleaned the mirrors and the glass parts of our doors
-put away the mountain of clean laundry that had been lurking here for far too long
-watched an old movie (Sliding Doors, with Gwyneth Paltrow)
Some of those activities were more productive than others, but it was an overall good day.
I don't know yet if I am missing out on anything important by avoiding Facebook. Two friends texted me yesterday, when they normally would have messaged me online. Both had some important life events going on, so I am glad that they took the time to tell me. I guess if people really want me to know their news, or really want me to attend their event, they will seek me out. I hope.
I must confess that I did not 100% avoid Facebook's technology yesterday. It turns out that a lot of other applications that I use are linked to my Facebook account. Without my Facebook login, I can't access my accounts on Pinterest, Goodreads, or Groupon. I'm not ready to give up everything online, and I enjoyed browsing these sites while I watched my movie last night. I did not actually access the Facebook page itself, so I don't consider this really cheating.
I also had to delete the Facebook app from my phone. I found myself waiting in car line at DD's school this morning, fighting the urge to push that little icon to assuage my "boredom". Why do I automatically whip out my phone instead of talking to my daughter in those few stolen moments during our morning rush? Sad. The app had to go.
It's just little things, like that -- I know that my children mean the world to me, but do they know? Do I demonstrate my love in the way that I behave? Or are they learning that they come second to a little blue and white screen?
Yesterday, I:
-did 6 hours of paid work
-took care of my sick kindergartner (who was not really sick anymore, but had to follow the 24 hour rule)
-watched the crew pour, score, and stamp our new patio
-sat outside and watched the concrete mixer truck and the garbage truck with DD
-started this blog
-played trains with my 2-year-old and REALLY played instead of watching from behind my computer
-put down the computer and read a story to him
-washed dishes, made the bed, cleaned the litter box, did 2 loads of laundry, dusted, cleaned the mirrors and the glass parts of our doors
-put away the mountain of clean laundry that had been lurking here for far too long
-watched an old movie (Sliding Doors, with Gwyneth Paltrow)
Some of those activities were more productive than others, but it was an overall good day.
I don't know yet if I am missing out on anything important by avoiding Facebook. Two friends texted me yesterday, when they normally would have messaged me online. Both had some important life events going on, so I am glad that they took the time to tell me. I guess if people really want me to know their news, or really want me to attend their event, they will seek me out. I hope.
I must confess that I did not 100% avoid Facebook's technology yesterday. It turns out that a lot of other applications that I use are linked to my Facebook account. Without my Facebook login, I can't access my accounts on Pinterest, Goodreads, or Groupon. I'm not ready to give up everything online, and I enjoyed browsing these sites while I watched my movie last night. I did not actually access the Facebook page itself, so I don't consider this really cheating.
I also had to delete the Facebook app from my phone. I found myself waiting in car line at DD's school this morning, fighting the urge to push that little icon to assuage my "boredom". Why do I automatically whip out my phone instead of talking to my daughter in those few stolen moments during our morning rush? Sad. The app had to go.
It's just little things, like that -- I know that my children mean the world to me, but do they know? Do I demonstrate my love in the way that I behave? Or are they learning that they come second to a little blue and white screen?
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Day One
I suppose it's pretty ironic to begin a blog when "fasting" from another form of technology addiction. I never claimed to be perfect. I'm just a person who recently realized that I spend waaaaay too much time on Facebook. And if the idea of staying away from Facebook for one month makes me feel kind of twitchy, well... that's probably a sign that I should do it.
I've always enjoyed using Facebook, but did not consider it to be a problem. My husband has his tv time, and I have Facebook. There's nothing wrong with starting the day with a cup of coffee and an infusion of updates from friends. Or winding down in the evening while something like "American Pickers" or "Storage Wars" drones on in the background.
But then it was a quick check between projects while working. And a quick check during the times when the kids are actually playing nicely together. And, oh, it's okay if DS watches just one more episode of Bob the Builder - We're both happy, right?
Except that it's not okay. Not really. Between the laptop and my iPhone, I found myself mentally "checking out" more frequently (and for greater periods of time) than I would like to admit. I found myself sometimes preferring this virtual interaction to real, face-to-face interaction with other people. It's just so easy. It's on my terms. There are no awkward silences or sudden confrontations on Facebook. Now, I'm certainly not saying that the Facebook world is free of drama -- because there can be plenty of that -- but I can take it at my own pace. I control and manipulate this idealized version of real life.
And real life suffers. My kids suffer when I am so clearly distracted. When it's "hold on just a minute..." again and again and again. No, Mommy - no more minutes. Just get up and do it now! My husband suffers when he comes home from work, and sees his wife staring at a screen instead of really listening to him. And, honestly, *I* suffer. How many more books could I read in a world without Facebook? How much cleaner would my home be? How much more time could I find for exercise? How many more projects could I complete? How much closer could I feel to people in real life -- and not just superficial Facebook "friendships"?
I'm thinking, probably a LOT.
So, I began. Last night, I went cold turkey. I let my friends and family know that they can contact me by phone. They can still text or email me. (I'm not becoming a monk!) And I let them know that, next time I see them in person, I will have NO IDEA what they've posted on Facebook -- so they will need to actually tell me if they have big news or want to invite me to a party. I am sure that I will miss out on some things because I will not see them on Facebook. I expect that I will gain a lot more.
So, today is Day One. It's an "off schedule" day because my DD (5) is home sick from kindergarten. She feels fine today, but had a fever and sore legs yesterday. We're having our new patio poured today, and the crew is out back working on that. I'm trying to think about how much enjoyment we'll get from that new outdoor living space, and not the dollar signs. We're somewhat DIY people, but this is beyond our skill set. So, professionals it is.
I'll attempt to work from home today. Luckily, my work schedule is relatively flexible. I'll have to make up some work time in the evenings, but maybe that will help me avoid Facebook all the more!
I do need to admit one slip-up, already: Once DH left to takes DS to school, and the concrete crew arrived, and DD turned on an episode of "Dragon Tales", and I had my cup of coffee in hand, I did automatically sit down in the same old spot on the couch and open up my laptop. I opened my browser, and without a conscious thought, my fingers typed the url for Facebook. I was still logged in, because I was on our other computer when I made my resolution last night. Whoops!
I saw the familiar blue and white screen and hurried to log out, but not before I noticed that I have one personal message and 5 updates. Ack! Resist, resist! Whatever it is, it can wait ... right?
I've always enjoyed using Facebook, but did not consider it to be a problem. My husband has his tv time, and I have Facebook. There's nothing wrong with starting the day with a cup of coffee and an infusion of updates from friends. Or winding down in the evening while something like "American Pickers" or "Storage Wars" drones on in the background.
But then it was a quick check between projects while working. And a quick check during the times when the kids are actually playing nicely together. And, oh, it's okay if DS watches just one more episode of Bob the Builder - We're both happy, right?
Except that it's not okay. Not really. Between the laptop and my iPhone, I found myself mentally "checking out" more frequently (and for greater periods of time) than I would like to admit. I found myself sometimes preferring this virtual interaction to real, face-to-face interaction with other people. It's just so easy. It's on my terms. There are no awkward silences or sudden confrontations on Facebook. Now, I'm certainly not saying that the Facebook world is free of drama -- because there can be plenty of that -- but I can take it at my own pace. I control and manipulate this idealized version of real life.
And real life suffers. My kids suffer when I am so clearly distracted. When it's "hold on just a minute..." again and again and again. No, Mommy - no more minutes. Just get up and do it now! My husband suffers when he comes home from work, and sees his wife staring at a screen instead of really listening to him. And, honestly, *I* suffer. How many more books could I read in a world without Facebook? How much cleaner would my home be? How much more time could I find for exercise? How many more projects could I complete? How much closer could I feel to people in real life -- and not just superficial Facebook "friendships"?
I'm thinking, probably a LOT.
So, I began. Last night, I went cold turkey. I let my friends and family know that they can contact me by phone. They can still text or email me. (I'm not becoming a monk!) And I let them know that, next time I see them in person, I will have NO IDEA what they've posted on Facebook -- so they will need to actually tell me if they have big news or want to invite me to a party. I am sure that I will miss out on some things because I will not see them on Facebook. I expect that I will gain a lot more.
So, today is Day One. It's an "off schedule" day because my DD (5) is home sick from kindergarten. She feels fine today, but had a fever and sore legs yesterday. We're having our new patio poured today, and the crew is out back working on that. I'm trying to think about how much enjoyment we'll get from that new outdoor living space, and not the dollar signs. We're somewhat DIY people, but this is beyond our skill set. So, professionals it is.
I'll attempt to work from home today. Luckily, my work schedule is relatively flexible. I'll have to make up some work time in the evenings, but maybe that will help me avoid Facebook all the more!
I do need to admit one slip-up, already: Once DH left to takes DS to school, and the concrete crew arrived, and DD turned on an episode of "Dragon Tales", and I had my cup of coffee in hand, I did automatically sit down in the same old spot on the couch and open up my laptop. I opened my browser, and without a conscious thought, my fingers typed the url for Facebook. I was still logged in, because I was on our other computer when I made my resolution last night. Whoops!
I saw the familiar blue and white screen and hurried to log out, but not before I noticed that I have one personal message and 5 updates. Ack! Resist, resist! Whatever it is, it can wait ... right?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)